


And

by jstabe



Category: Backstreet Boys, Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-11
Updated: 2005-12-11
Packaged: 2017-10-19 12:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/200889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jstabe/pseuds/jstabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"They invited us as a couple.  Not just Brian’s best friend and Brian’s cousin.  They invited us, Nick and Kevin, together."</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	And

**Author's Note:**

  * For [livejournal's slash_100 prompt "And"](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=livejournal%27s+slash_100+prompt+%22And%22).



Nick glanced at his bag for probably the hundredth time in the last two minutes. He reached out then hesitated. He looked across the room, but Kevin was still safely on the phone with his mom. Nick opened his bag, grabbed the envelope, and went to sit on the bed. He leaned against the headboard and stared at the envelope.

It was just an envelope. No big deal, really. Okay, sure, it was expensive and the ink was gold and the script was… calligraphy? He was pretty sure that’s what it was called. Still it was just an envelope. But it wasn’t the envelope itself that had grabbed his attention and wouldn’t let go. It was what was on it.

He hadn’t been surprised to get an invitation to Brian’s wedding. It was a given that all the guys were invited, but Leighanne said that it was bad manners not to send an invitation. She had given in and let Brian hand-deliver them only because none of them would be home anytime before the wedding. So when Brian had come in that morning and handed out envelopes, Nick hadn’t been surprised. He’d wondered why Kevin hadn’t gotten one until he’d read the front of his own.

 _Mr. Nickolas Carter and Mr. Kevin Richardson_

One invitation because they were an ‘us’. He traced the letters, feeling the rich paper under his thumb. Nick opened the envelope and took out another, smaller envelope. Same gold ink, but this time the words were in Brian’s familiar scrawl.

 _Nick and Kevin_

When had they gone from being Nick and Kevin to being NickandKevin? He wasn’t sure, but it seemed like maybe it had been happening for awhile now. It used to be that when plans were made, the guys would ask him and Kevin separately. Now, whoever was making the plans would just say ‘hey, you and Kevin are coming clubbing, right?’ Like wherever one of them was, the other would automatically want to be. Nick had to admit that was mostly true, but it was still weird. He wasn’t used to being half of an ‘and’.

Nick got up and went over to the couch where Kevin was sitting. Kevin glanced up and smiled at him. Nick gave him a little half-smile back and then sat down. He lifted Kevin’s arm and slid underneath, pressing himself tight against Kevin’s side. Nick sighed and laid is head on Kevin’s shoulder, his fingers playing with the hem of Kevin’s shirt.

Kevin was still talking with his mom, but now more than half his attention was on Nick. Nick had been quiet and distant all day. His demeanor had clearly said _stay away_ and Kevin had. Now here he was, practically in Kevin’s lap and Kevin really hoped that meant that Nick was ready to talk. Kevin jerked his attention back to the phone when he heard his mom laugh.

“What? Yeah, I’m still here. Sorry about that. Nick’s right here. He’s fine.”

A beat of silence and then Kevin was laughing. “Of course I’m taking good care of him. Why aren’t you worried about him taking good care of me? You like him best, don’t you?”

More laughter. “No, ma’am. I wouldn’t even think of sassing you.”

Nick grinned a little. That Kentucky drawl was never more noticeable than when Kevin was talking to his mom.

“I’ve got to go, Mom. We’re off tonight and I think we’re all going to have dinner together. I’ll tell him, I promise. Love you, too. Bye.”

Kevin hung up the phone and settled more comfortably on the couch. He let his hand drop and began to rub Nick’s back.

“You’ve been kind of quiet today. You alright?”

Nick shrugged and didn’t look up. “How’s your mom?”

“She’s fine. She sends her love.” Nick tensed, but didn’t say anything so Kevin continued. “She’s excited about the wedding. She said it’s been too long since she’s seen us.”

“She saw you last month.”

“True, but you weren’t with me.”

Nick’s body tightened even more and his tone was harsh when he spoke. “We’re just fucking. That doesn’t mean that we have to do everything together.”

The hand on Nick’s back stilled briefly before continuing its soothing up and down motion. “That’s true, we don’t.”

Nick winced. Kevin’s voice was calm and controlled- too controlled. Nick knew it was because Kevin was trying to hide either anger or hurt. Nick was almost positive it was the latter. Crap. He sat up and looked at Kevin.

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Then why did you?”

Kevin’s voice wasn’t accusatory, just patient and understanding. That made Nick feel even worse and he knew he owed Kevin some kind of explanation.

“It’s just… we’re an ‘and’…”

“We’re a what?” Kevin interrupted.

Nick sighed and handed the invitation to Kevin. Kevin read the front and looked over at Nick.

“I’m not sure I’m following.”

“They invited us as a couple. Not just Brian’s best friend and Brian’s cousin. They invited us, Nick and Kevin, together.”

Kevin still looked lost. Nick got up and began to pace.

“Your mom always asks about me when you guys talk. She worries about me like she does about you. You told her I was your boyfriend.”

“I wasn’t supposed to?”

“No! Yes. I don’t know.”

“Thanks for clearing that up. I was kind of confused.”

Nick glared at him and ran an agitated hand through his hair.

“Moms aren’t supposed to know about your fuck buddies. We aren’t supposed to get invited to things like a couple. We’re an ‘and’ and we aren’t supposed to be. I can do the just fucking thing. I can’t do the relationship thing.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know how. I’ve never been in a good one. I’ve never really _seen_ a good one. Look at most of the people we know. Hell, look at my parents. What do I know about relationships and commitment?”

“Nick…”

“I’m going to screw this up, Kevin, I know it.”

Kevin was taken aback at the distress in Nick’s voice. He hadn’t had a clue that Nick was thinking like this. “God, I’m sorry, Nick. I didn’t know that this was bothering you. That you were this upset. I shouldn’t have pushed you. Shouldn’t have rushed you. I thought… I thought you wanted the same thing I did. Maybe you need to tell me what you do want.”

“I want us to fuck, to have a good time, for things not to get messy and complicated.”

“If that’ll make you happy, I can do that.”

“No, you can’t.”

Kevin frowned. “I’ve done casual before.”

“Yeah, but you couldn’t with me. You’re already in love with me, even if you don’t say it much.”

Kevin shrugged and looked at the floor. “I don’t say it because you don’t like to hear it.”

Nick walked over to kneel in front of Kevin. When Kevin’s eyes met his, he said, “No, I like hearing it too much. It scares me.”

Kevin wanted to pull Nick into his arms and never let go, but considering that was part of the problem, he forced himself to settle for brushing light fingers over Nick’s cheekbone.

“I do love you, but I’m not pushing. At least, I didn’t think I was. Now that I know there’s a problem, I can back off. I can give you space if that’s what you need. We’ll do this however you want.”

Nick’s eyes searched Kevin’s. He knew Kevin was telling the truth. He’d give Nick distance, do whatever made Nick happy even if it hurt him to do it. Nick had never had anyone love him like that. Ever. He was pretty sure he didn’t deserve it. Kevin thought he did, though. Kevin believed he was worth it. Nick felt some of the tightness in his chest ease. He still wasn’t absolutely sure he could do this, but he knew without a doubt that Kevin would help him. Kevin wouldn’t let him screw up too badly. He never had. He relaxed a little and the smile he gave Kevin was shaky, but genuine.

“It isn’t just fucking. Even when I told myself it was, I knew I was lying. I’m sorry that I said it. I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

Kevin had to close his eyes against the sudden rush of emotion. When he opened them, Nick was watching him. He smiled.

“I forgive you. I understand that you’re scared. I wish you’d told me. I hate that I pushed you into something you weren’t ready for. I meant what I said. I’ll back off if you need me to.”

Nick leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Kevin. “Nope, you’re not going anywhere. No backing off.” He paused for a minute, thinking. “I think it threw me because we’ve never really talked about what we are. What we’re doing. We’ve kind of been unofficially dating and this invitation pretty much made it official. Our friends see us a couple. We **are** a couple. I was still trying to convince myself that we’re just friends with benefits.”

“We’re still friends. That’s never going to change. We’re just more now. If you want us to be.”

“I do. And if I freak again, you’ll just have to be there, talking me down.”

“I’ll always be there, Nick. I promise.”

Nick nodded. “I believe you. You always tell me the truth. Even when it’s stuff I don’t want to hear. “ He pulled back and looked at Kevin. “I love you.”

Nick found himself enveloped in a hug so tight he could barely breathe.

“You’ve never said that to me before.”

Nick turned his head, nuzzling into the crook of Kevin’s neck. “I’ve wanted to, but I was too scared.”

“Not scared anymore?”

“Terrified, but I can do this.”

“Of course you can.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They sat quietly for a minute then Nick was pulling away. “Okay, enough mushy stuff. I’m starving.” He got up and went to find his wallet.

Kevin laughed and got up to follow him. “You’re so romantic.”

Nick waited until Kevin met him at the door. When Kevin grabbed the doorknob, Nick put his hand on top of Kevin’s, halting him. He leaned in to lick the shell of Kevin’s ear.

“Take me out, feed me, and then I’ll let you bring me back here and be as ‘romantic’ as you want to be.”

Kevin looked into Nick’s eyes, seeing the banked heat there. He yanked open the door and strode into the hall, yelling for the others. “Come on, guys! We’re leaving in five. Anyone not ready is on his own.”

The door next to theirs opened and Brian stuck his head out. “Geez, what’s the rush? Got a hot date tonight?”

Nick looked at Kevin and grinned. “Yes, he does. And he’s going to get lucky too so hurry up, damn it.”

Brian groaned. “Great and I have the room next to yours.”

Nick laughed. “Ahh, that’s okay, Frick. We’ll stop on the way back and buy you earplugs.”

Kevin watched them, grinning. One thing was for sure. His life with Nick would never be boring.


End file.
